This is one of the most emotional tracks I ever wrote, based on the not so good aspects of a culture I used to be a part of. I apologize to anyone who I may have hurt in the course of writing this; I am trying to reinterpret this myself as demonstrated below:

When I initially wrote the lyrics, it was channeling a hurt that I had not completely healed from. It was definitely directed towards the people who I felt hurt me and so I wrote the song based off of that. When you grow up with a condition like autism where you are simultaneously asked to learn for the sake of integrating into society for the right reasons such as things absolutely no one should do regardless of neurological status (not using your condition to purposefully be a jerk) and consolidating this with refusing to give up what makes you the autistic person you are, this creates a lot of resentment which cannot exactly be brought out because no one listened to your concerns before when they stem from resentment. In this group of people I was a part of, we constantly had to advocate for ourselves, and when the advocation was met with disregard in the form of saying they listened but immediately pushing their own opinion, it does not help anyone. I would consistently doubt if my ideas were worthy, that I was worthy of their attention, and if I was doing anything wrong. Conversely, erupting about all of these concerns are vilified unless they are taken though the exact avenues of which are socially acceptable. This is how I feel and I cannot properly process it if I cannot talk about the true, uncensored feelings which manifested inside me.

Taking a second look at it, when I eventually make peace with all of this, the song is still going to remain. Khonsu was a name I went by in that culture before I ended up expelling my feelings of hurt and betrayal. If anything, this was what I wanted from the beginning: to feel like I meant something. Through this, the name Khonsu has something attached to the name now which carries the experiences of the person who went by the name before. It finally became something that mattered: a truly powerful shift which finally had a culture reflecting on how it hurt people. Khonsu is a figure in this culture. When I use the word "you," I symbolically target the name I used to go by. This is what I want this to eventually convey.

I debated putting this out and that is because the music came from an emotional time in my life. If anything, I know music can be interpreted to fit a story a listener may share with the songwriter. If this gives them a song to capture what they feel right now, than who am I to keep that from them?

I hope you consider supporting me and my projects in the future.